WTF Alpina? Seriously, is this a joke? Does this watch suffer from hereditary dwarfism? Can you even call a 44mm wide watch a dwarf? Oh, I'm sorry, I meant "little watch." No, the watch may be the appropriate size, but the hands, those sad pathetic looking hands, are shrunken at the least. Look at them looking all sad? Even the chronograph subdial hands really feel larger.
I've no clue what Alpina was thinking when their designer approved the hands on this Startimer Classic Automatic Chronograph watch. More like TinyTimer. This is precisely the sort of crap that pisses me off. This watch makes me want to yell obscenities. Every little thing else about this watch is fine if you're going for that retro chronograph watch look - but those hands, what the hell is up with those stupid tiny hands? This isn't just a mistake, this is horological abuse.
Do I should even clarify to anybody why or how the hour, minute, and chronograph seconds hands are little beyond excuse? Maybe this is a joke. Maybe Alpina is just messing with me. I can see them in Geneva giggling like 7th grade pranksters. "E-mail it to Ariel, ensure he thinks it really is severe! Huh hu, he is gonna flip!" It wouldn't be the first time...
The watch dial even has a pulsograph for measuring pulse. Fairly worthless with those hands. The chronograph seconds hand only goes so far as the start of the hour indicators. WHY?! Screw it, I don't even want to be good or attempt to figure this out anymore. If you are the individual who developed this dial then please by no means be in the exact same room with me. You not simply embarrass an otherwise decent brand, but you display with incredible clarity just how inept you're a watch or industrial designer. Go back to creating dollhouses. Repugnant. This watch gives me vertigo and makes we want to give up analog watches altogether and buy a digital Casio.
Please keep the address reproduced:The Fashion Watch
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